


Wrong

by forking



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: I'm Sorry, Kind of angsty, M/M, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Crush, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-12-21 17:51:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/903118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forking/pseuds/forking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry, this is terrible and kind of sad and angsty and I'm sorry. There isn't anything to be said from this.</p></blockquote>





	Wrong

Regulus was sitting by the tree in front of the lake, staring at the frigid water and tugging at the grass, trying to figure out what he did wrong. Remus was---Regulus didn't do anything wrong, really. He let Remus use him, possibly to the point that it was abuse, and there wasn't _supposed_ to be feelings, but Regulus couldn't help it. Somehow, despite knowing it all started because they were both lonely and alone and _no one understood_ , Regulus found himself attached to Remus. Missing Remus. With _feelings_ for Remus.

Regulus ripped out a handful of grass in his frustration. He knows he was just a distraction, a (not even) second choice for Remus, but.. but for Remus to end it the way he did was absurd. He could've let it fade out, he could've asked Regulus around less and less. He could've done _anything else_. Everything else was fine, this---this was cruel. It leaned more along the selfish and cruel and callous parts of Remus' personality that Regulus thought was wrong coming from Remus. The entire thing seemed wrong and fraud and _what did he do_?

"Fucking," Regulus practically spat, wiping at his eyes at he felt the traitorous tears pick at them. Remus _promised_ he'd be careful, that he wouldn't be too cruel. Regulus fucking _cried_ in front of him! And two days later, Remus is buttoning his shirt back up and Regulus was buttoning his pants and Remus basically mutters, "We should stop," and he's said it countless times before, said that it wasn't healthy, said that they _shouldn't_ , but they never stop. They get too lonely, feel too alone, and _no one fucking understands_. Regulus didn't think he was serious. But it's been a month, Remus hasn't been in the owlery or atop the astrology tower, times haven't appeared in his mashed potatoes during dinner, no paper airplanes or birds with messages written in charmed ink---nothing. And Remus _knew_ Regulus was too broken for that--- _he fucking knew_ and he _promised_ he'd never hurt him! Regulus knew that their little meet-ups wouldn't last forever, that Remus would stop using him as an alternative, but he hoped for a cushioned landing, not cold turkey.

Regulus was breathing irregularly and roughly with his forehead on his arms that were on his knees, willing the tears to go away, willing for it to get easier to swallow. But nothing ever works for him, because he heard footsteps and he pathetically recognized one of them and it just made it harder to breathe. He _drowned_ in Remus, and he supposes Remus never was going to save him, not even to help him up.

"Regulus, m'boy, what a surprise to see you here!" he heard his older brother, Sirius, joke with a jostling laugh that was supposed to be imitating Professor Slughorn. Deciding that he didn't need to deal with this, Regulus stood up. Sirius was with his usual gang---James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and--and Remus. Remus who was so in love with Sirius that it made bile rise in Regulus' throat, made it harder to breathe, and his hurt and anger spike.

"Shut up, Sirius," Regulus said defeatedly, grabbing his bag from by the tree. Sirus' face softened and he caught Regulus' arm before he could escape. Regulus stared at it before looking into Sirius' eyes; they once shared the same eyes, but Sirius' were sparkling, full of life and laughter, and Regulus' were muted, defeated and broken.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly, honest concern for his little brother, expressed in the furrowing of his brows and slight frown as he looked over his younger brother. He looked so much smaller than usual. And Sirius has never really _seen_ Regulus happy, but he thinks that his brother never looked this bad before.

"Do us both a favor, and don't pretend that you care," Regulus muttered before pulling his arm free and walking towards the castle, hands in his pockets in resignation.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, this is terrible and kind of sad and angsty and I'm sorry. There isn't anything to be said from this.


End file.
